What Is Demisexuality And How Does It Affect Attraction?

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation characterised by feelings of strong emotions around both men and women. It is a unique lifestyle choice that can be found only in people who are open to the idea of being both male and female.

It is a way for people to experience love and affection in a way that wouldn’t be possible through other methods.

But with so many “new” sexual orientations suddenly appearing on the surface, it’s common for people to disregard it as some mental disorder.

However, based on an article published by WIRED in 2015, the earliest record of this term was coined in 2006 by a user of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) forum. This proves that this term dates back more than we realize and isn’t just something brand new.

In this article, we will explore what demisexuality means and how attraction works in this sexual orientation. So without further ado, let’s take a look!

Table of contents:

Are you demisexual?

What does it mean to be demisexual?

Demisexuality is a state of mind in which a person experiences romantic and/or sexual feelings both for people they cannot have children with and also for those they have sex with.

It is a unique form of love that is different from other forms of love as it does not require any physical contact between the involved individuals. This type of love is often difficult to find because it is seen as taboo.

Demisexuality is sometimes called the “fireworks show “because the individual who experiences these romantic and/or sexual feelings feels like they go into these relationships with high energy and an out-of-this-world feeling.

They are able to communicate this side of their mind to their partners in a way that does not require physical contact between them. This side of demisexuality is often used by those who want to explore these feelings further or who are uncomfortable with normal romantic relationships.

There are many benefits to being demisexual. The most obvious benefit is that this state of mind can make it easier for individuals to experience these types of emotions. When someone is demisexual, they are able to enjoy romance more than ever before.

They may be able to appreciate more complex relationships even if they do not have children or sexual relations and may be more likely to experience long-term friendships because they feel more connected. Additionally, demisexuals can be more likely to form new relationships because they feel drawn toward others in a deeper way.

How is demisexuality different from heterosexuality?

There are many important differences between demisexuality and heterosexuality. For one, demisexuality is a state of mind – not just an orientation. Demisexuals are happy in their own lives without feeling attracted to others.

They also have the ability to feel more than they think they do. Here’s how you can differentiate demisexuality from heterosexuality.

Demisexual orientation is a term that is used to describe a group of people who do not feel the need to have any kind of sexual or emotional relationship with someone they do not like. These individuals may only have mild sexual feelings for others, which mean that they are no longer interested in a full, emotional relationship.

On the other hand, heterosexuality is a type of relationship where the partner knows how to show affection for their partner.

This means that these individuals do not always need to feel emotionally attached to someone else as long as they can handle being alone. They may be able to take care of themselves and be happy without having an emotional response from their partner.

Both demisexual and heterosexual relationships offer some benefits for both parties. Heterosexuals offer a stricter standard when it comes to how their relationships should work.

Demisexuals, on the other hand, offer more room for growth and change. This means that there is always the potential for new experiences and interactions if both parties are willing to allow them.

Myths about demisexuality

Demisexuality vs. Asexuality

One could argue that there is no difference between demisexuality and asexuality. And due to a lack of understanding, most people correlate these two distinct but similar sexual orientations and end up offending people who identify with either orientation. This is why it’s important to highlight the differences between them.


Demisexuality is a state of mind where you are able to see both men and women as opportunities rather than candidates for your love. Demisexuals are often in a state of need and love that is beyond just physical feelings.

This is a state of mind where you are not just interested in people, but you are also longing for their presence.  There is a general sense of attraction that exists for demisexuals, as opposed to asexuals who don’t feel any sexual attraction whatsoever.


Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction towards people. It can be seen as the complete opposite of sexuality.  As a result, asexuals do not feel the need to touch or kiss their friends or love them. They can be content with their feelings and be content with being alone.

Types of demisexuals

The two most common forms of demisexuality are open demisexuals and closed demisexuals.

Open demisexuals are those who are comfortable with their feelings and are able to share them with others. They are likely to be close to others because they enjoy being around people.

The closed demisexuals are those who are not comfortable with their feelings. They are difficult to talk to because they do not want to identify as demisexual. They are not as likely to be close to others because they do not feel comfortable with their feelings.

Can demisexual people experience sexual attraction?

There is no one answer to this question, as demisexual people can experience sexual attraction to people who share their same desires and feelings.

Some people may experience sexual attraction to people who are completely different from them in terms of age, gender, or sexual activity.

It is important to remember that the sexual attraction of a demisexual person is fluid, which means that they may or may not be affected by their gender identity.

Demisexuality vs Asexuality

How does masturbation fit into demisexuality?

Some research reveals that demisexual people may enjoy forms of sexual activity with others. In a study conducted by The Huffington Post, it was found that demisexual people who were told to masturbate reported higher levels of satisfaction and intimacy in their relationships.

Additionally, demisexual people also found that being sexually active with another demisexual person may not always be an issue. Demisexual people are also more likely to have multiple partners who they masturbate with.

But the bottom line is that every person is different, regardless of the sexual orientation they identify with. Some demisexuals may masturbate, while others may not.

How to make your loved ones understand demisexuality?

There are many ways to help our loved ones appreciate and understand demisexuality. One way is by providing information and resources on the topic. Love stories and stories of people who enjoy spending time with different sexual orientations and genders can be found all over the internet.

There is also a variety of group and individual events and projects that can help to spread knowledge and encourage love. A person is just a click away from finding these groups online through social media.

This group provides an overview of all things demisexual, from resources to support to learning more about demisexual people.

Another way to help those who are love-free understand demisexuality is to read about the topic. A really good book that can help is “All about Demisexuality” by Arf Gray.

Demisexuality what is

Myths about demisexuality

There is something about myths that allow people to connect two different stories together in a cool, organized way. Myths about demisexuality allow for a bit of uncertainty, and it can be difficult to know what you’re talking about.

However, we believe that myths about demisexuality provide a more accurate portrayal of the condition overall.

Some people think that it is hard to be demisexual because you are not like other people in your relationships.

They think that you are more likely to be against or alone in your relationships because you do not fit into the mold that some people provide.

Others think that being demisexual is just like being gay or bisexual. Here are some other myths about demisexuality that are more common;

  • They can’t have relationships without someone being demisexual.
  • It is a mental illness.
  • They are only sexually attracted to other demisexuals.

All these myths hold no weight and are completely untrue. It’s important to debunk such myths when trying to spread more awareness and information about this subject. So spread the word and help educate more people.

Types of demisexuals


Some people might think that demisexuality is just a different name for sex-based relationships, but I believe that it’s its own unique type of relationship. It’s like how you can be drawn to both sports and music or art and science.

Demisexuality is associated with a deep connection with others. It’s as if we’re designed to have these relationships where we’re one and the same, togetherness. We’re not designed to be alone in our feelings or be apart because we have this special connection with each other.

Most people who are demisexual don’t mind being single because it doesn’t mean they’re not good at service or love. They just don’t require the physical contact that a sexual relationship brings.

If you’re not comfortable with your demisexuality, then the best way to start is to talk to a therapist or counselor about it. Not only will they be able to help you explore your feelings more fully, but they’ll also be able to help you find something that’s worth your time and energy. If you’re feeling brave and want to explore your demisexuality, then, by all means, do so. Though it may not be comfortable at first, you will surely grow as a person.

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